Rig Out.
21 year old girl living on a construction vessel with over 200 men. Hilarity ensues.
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So far this swing I’ve had people be medevaced off for:
- Pancreatitis
- Fractured wrist
- Chicken pox
- A brain aneurism
I’ve only been here two weeks, my god.
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When you’re in the last week of your swing you reach ‘no mores’. So now I have ‘no more’ Thursday afternoons etc.
It’s a beautiful thing!
One week and I am out of here.
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I was all worried about protecting the privacy of people out here, but let’s be real, they’ll never see this so screw their rights! These weirdo’s have been my friends out here for 6 months. My little rig fronds, and I’ll never see them again! Maybe I’ll just be a rig girl for life so I see them again. Or not, once this wave of nostalgia passes and I remember what they’re really like.
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I only have a week left of my final swing ever. I’m getting all girly and nostalgic (even though I’m still here…). I’ve had quite good fun this swing. I’ll miss these bogans.
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After living next to it for 12 weeks, I finally went across to the platform. Kind of a let down after a fair bit of build up… but I’ve done it now. Feast your eyes on what has to be the most awkward tourist pic ever.
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We’re en route to Tasmania, and someone just rang me to tell me that we’re passing ‘The Nut’. A big rock. Yay?
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- J: Heeey mate, how are ya?
- Me: Yeah, fine. How're you feeling? Better?
- J: Ahh you know, a little bit better. Still crook though, ey.
- Me: So I guess you're not coming back out this swing?
- J: Nah mate. Hold on a sec.
- Me: ...
- J: Can I get six chicken nuggets and a large chips? Cheers.
- Me: Wow, really you're at Macca's?
- J: Nah mate, Hungry Jacks. I gotta pay, I'll call ya later.
- I'm willing to bet he's feeling better.
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There’s an Irish guy out here, D, who is by far the smartest man I have met out here. He is calm and genuinely sweet. How he ended up here I will never know.
He shaved his beard to look like the dictator just to make people laugh.
Everyone out here makes fun of everyone. Occasionally, it goes too far. In steps Doctor D.
There’s a guy out here that gets called Fathead. Poetic, I know.
A few nights ago in the smoking room we were measuring everyone’s heads to find out who had the biggest. I would try to explain, but the desperate acts of bored men can’t always be explained.
I measured 565, the biggest was F’s, at 600. Then in walks Fathead and everyone laughs. ‘Fathead’ll win!’.
This taunting goes on for ages, until Fathead flees the room and goes to stand on the bow of the ship with the wind in his hair.
‘Alright Doctor D, I think that’s your cue,’.
It was explained to me that Doctor D often needs to act as a balm to the raw nerves exposed in a place like this. Off he trots, to talk Fathead down from the ledge.
B told me that Doctor D always looks after him when the boys are teasing him. B has a notoriously short fuse that is often exploited.
I had a bad morning yesterday and told S when he came up here.
Two minutes after S left, Doctor D appeared.
‘I heard you had a bad morning. Anything you want to talk about?’
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B just came up to see me (I think), but there were 14 guys in here all hyped up to go home.
The second he walked in, 14 heads swivelled in our direction.
“Young love!” One guy calls, when B hangs around to ask me something. We’re currently sailing for calm waters, so no one is working.
“B, you should be working!” Yells another.
“He is working!” Calls one more comedian.
Uproarious laughter ensues. I’ve lost them. They’re meant to be watching the safety video, but I know they’re a lost cause. B is facing them but I have my back to them. B starts giggling, but when I turn around they all whip their heads back to face the video, biting their lips so they don’t laugh. I don’t even want to know what they were doing.
There’s a pause, I think they’re over it.
Then suddenly…
“The Love Boat promises something for everyone…” starts one guy in the back row.
“Set a course for adventure,” join in a few more.
“Your mind on a new romance.
Love won’t hurt anymore,
It’s an open smile on a friendly shore,” half the room is singing now and then“It’s LOVE! It’s LOVE! It’s LOVE!
It’s the Love Boat-ah! It’s the Love Boat-ah!” finishes the whole group in a rousing crescendo.So that was my morning.
